Chapter Four
‘Well done, Sergeant! See you at the office.’ Irvin bid a hasty goodbye to the overzealous junior, who had been tailing him all around the building, and then rushed down the wide stairway to the ground floor. The massive front door, which was covered in cracks, had been flung far into the building and was lying at the foot of the stairway. Stone fragments were scattered all over the place, and a few cops armed with headcams and flashlights were snooping around in the dark hallway. Irvin strode hastily across the rubble and headed to the gaping breach where the door had once stood.
The rain had stopped. The night breeze was carrying a heady mixture of smells from the shore, and a full moon had emerged from the clouds. The incident had taken place in the city’s largest conservation zone, ‘the Pretty Mile,’ which was a tourists’ paradise and retreat for nostalgic billionaires. It wasn’t far from the government headquarters, so the police had responded quickly.
A fair number of cars with flashing red-and-blue lights sealed off the street, a few heavy drones patrolled the neighbouring area, and the scene was lit up by spotlights mounted on a telescopic mast. A small crowd of rubberneckers and news hunters had gathered behind the police tape and were watching the late-night show: a thin chain of sleepy cops in garish yellow vests, a clique of excited detectives, a pack of smug spec-ops boys encased in plastic armour, and the cherry on top — a couple of small-headed combat droids all hanging about the building’s entrance.
Thaler stood on the wide, semicircular steps outside. ‘Look at those fellas,’ he said as Irvin arrived, pointing at the droids. ‘A funny sight they are in this Amish neighbourhood.’
‘Ah! Our boss’s favourite pets.’ Irvin sniggered. ‘He thinks he can fight criminals with those rusty goons. Fair winds to his ragged sail!’
‘Believe it or not, your boss might not be as dumb as you think,’ said Thaler. ‘Look, they are armed with GoodRay guns.’
‘What are those?’
‘It’s a type of microwave weapon. At the lower end, it can be used to hold back crowds, causing general discomfort to the skin. But, if you crank it all the way up, it can cause severe organ damage, particularly to anyone holding a weapon. That’s why some local conflicts have been put to an end. People go to war to win or die, not to become blind eunuchs.’
‘They break the conventions of war.’ Irvin gave the droids a disapproving look.
‘Oh, conventions!’ Thaler snorted. ‘What a nice thing they are. Humanitarian and compassionate. The ethics of serial killers. Pity they only exist because the warmongers want them.’
‘How’s that?’ Irvin mused.
‘Producing less lethal or, as they say, “conventional” weaponry means fewer casualties and longer conflicts. It lets them sell even more ammo and other combat doodahs.’
‘Weird,’ muttered Irvin.
‘It is,’ Thaler agreed and looked up at the building. The upper two-thirds of it was hidden behind a dirty canvas draped over the facade.
‘Back to our business. Have you got something?’ asked the detective, still scrutinising the building.
‘Unbelievable.’ The inspector shoved his hands into his pockets and shook his head. ‘This building doesn’t exist in the city’s register. I can’t understand how that’s possible in a city where each scrap of land is accounted for and costs a fortune.’
‘It’s very possible,’ said Thaler. ‘It’s a special place with a peculiar face. If you were able to see through the canvas as I am, you would notice that this facade is actually composed of two different architectural styles belonging to the adjacent buildings. A Frankenstein of real estate, you might say. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that the neighbours pay for this monster’s utilities too.’ He tittered. ‘I’ve been searching for this place for years, and finally, I’ve found it.’ He swept his gaze across the façade once again. ‘Their cursed haunt, their rotten nest. But it’s worth nothing because I missed the main thing — the black box.’ He paused. ‘Do you think we can get it back?’
‘No,’ answered Irvin. ‘You can’t. And neither can I. They’ve already sealed it and are taking it back to the office. When these devils blew the door open, some nearby big nobs flew out of their beds. So, the boss got all emotional and took the case under his own personal control. It’s clear: If things go wrong, it may cost him his seat.’
‘I see,’ said Thaler. ‘They already lost it once, and now they’ve taken it into their leaky custody. Can we do something about it, anyway? Sneak it out from the depository?’
‘No, we can’t.’ Irvin frowned, shifting from foot to foot. ‘They have no idea what the black box is or who your clients are. But they smell something, and they’re gonna stick it in the Ali Baba Cave — a nuke-proof vault deep under our headquarters. There’s tons of jewellery, millions in cash, and some other crazy things kept as evidence. If I were able to break into it, I’d go for the money, not for this stinking tardis, no way,’ he half-laughed.
‘Tough luck, then,’ said Thaler.
A shrill sound rang out from above. At that moment, all the people who were gawking around the place became excited and peered into the sky. Soon, a police vertiplane with flashing lights appeared, flew solemnly over the area, then turned back and started to descend.
‘Speak of the boss, and he appears,’ said Irvin in a hushed voice. ‘Let’s make tracks before the Chief Inspector perches his arse on my soul. I’m not in the mood tonight to see him fanning his tail in front of the public.’
Irvin grabbed Thaler by the sleeve and drew him aside into a barely visible gap between the buildings. For a while, they walked silently along the narrow, desolate street.
Chapter Five
‘Thaler.’ Irvin broke the silence.
‘Uh-huh?’
‘You promised to tell me something.’
‘What exactly?’ Thaler asked.
‘Ah, you are a bad actor, Thaler.’ Irvin grinned. ‘Tell me about the black box, mate. What the hell is it?’
Thaler cleared his throat. ‘Why should I? You’ve already answered your own question.’
‘Thaler, I’m too tired to crawl through your riddles,’ grumbled Irvin. ‘Please, will you talk to me in plain English?’
‘Well,’ Thaler said, ‘you’ve got it right — the box is Hell.’
‘Hell?’ Irvin snorted. ‘Seems a bit stuffy then. Two men could hardly get into it, so where have all the suffering souls gone?’
‘It’s not Hell itself, of course,’ Thaler explained. ‘It’s a kind of back door leading to it.’
‘So, we were on the edge then?’ Irvin chuckled.
‘Not really,’ said Thaler. ‘You have to cast some spells to make it open. That’s what Lord Wittslock was going to do, but we messed up his plans.’
‘Lord Wittslock. Lord Wittslock . . .’ Irvin repeated. ‘He was happy to see us, the old bastard.’
‘It wasn’t bad at all that he missed this pleasure,’ remarked Thaler. ‘He and I are old enemies. But why was he happy to see you?’
‘I arrested him a couple of times,’ said Irvin. ‘You know, the lord likes young girls — and always did. Sometimes, too young. But both times, he succeeded in getting away with it. He’s got enough ice cream to palm the judge, the victims, and their stepmothers.’
‘That’s true,’ Thaler agreed.
‘By the way, Thaler, I didn’t see him walking on hooves,’ Irvin remarked.
‘The demons only take their real form on some occasions,’ said Thaler. ‘That gathering was one of them.’
‘I’m starting to feel sorry we screwed up the party.’ Irvin grinned.
‘I’m sure they’ll bounce back,’ said Thaler in the same tone. ‘What about Lady Angsgott? She said she knew you. Is there any story behind that?’
‘Not a long one,’ answered Irvin without enthusiasm. ‘It was one of my first calls. Somebody dismembered old Lord Angsgott’s body and stuffed the parts into the chimney at his family castle. We had to use a hydraulic saw to dig them out. We were looking for a gang of sadists but found nothing. There was no chance that I or anybody else on the team could point a finger at his wife — a little brunette with tear-stained eyes. I talked with her a couple of times during the investigation. She looked like a woman from my daydreams: perfect body and fire blazing in her eyes. I was a young, unmarried lad who came from the gutter, and she was a lady of the upper crust. Of course, it was a dead end, but it took me a long time to forget her. I haven’t seen her since. She might be about forty now — still a pretty woman.’
‘She’s an old demon that took the appearance of a young witch who was drowned in the river six hundred years ago,’ said Thaler. ‘It entered this world through the black box, like the rest of the company. You are still younger than she is, Inspector.’
‘Good news for an ageing man,’ Irvin said contentedly. ‘What about Lord Wittslock?’
‘The same ilk,’ answered Thaler. ‘But he is much older than she is and outranks her; he’s an archdemon . . . just one step below you-know-who.’
‘Even demons stick to ranks.’ Irvin laughed. ‘So, how do they use the box?’
‘Usually, they look for the biggest scoundrel in town,’ explained Thaler, ‘and when he dies, by hook or by crook, they put the dead body into the box and the demon’s infernal entity passes into it. Such a walking carcass may seem pretty human on the outside, but in fact, it’s an evil spirit under the skin.’
‘I see. Do you know who killed that bloke on the floor?’ asked Irvin.
‘Sure,’ Thaler replied. ‘Your old flame, Lady Angsgott. Playing with a slip knot on a man’s neck is her favourite game. One of those pleasures that she promised you, Inspector.’
‘I was an idiot.’ Irvin cringed. ‘A bloody idiot. It makes me sick what you’ve said, Thaler.’ He pondered. ‘But then, how do they—?’
‘How do they fill out the forms for the Office of Statistics?’ Thaler supposed. ‘Elementary, Irvin: Forgery is their favourite crime. You can search through the archives and find ancient, authentic records of their great-great-grandpas, but in fact, all of them are the same people — Lord Wittslock and his company.’
‘And what about the rest of the mob?’ asked Irvin.
‘Rubbish of all kinds: Werewolves, ghouls, vampires . . .’
‘Enough!’ Irvin shouted and gasped for air. They stopped.
‘What’s up, Gregory?’ Thaler put his hand on Irvin’s shoulder.
‘Nothing.’ Irvin breathed out. ‘Suddenly, I saw all these creatures dancing in my head. It was a flashback, but to something I’d never seen before — a false memory.’ He drew a long, soothing breath and looked around.
They stood in the middle of a narrow, desolate street where time seemed to have stopped ages ago. Its wet and slightly crowned surface, made of cobblestones, shone under the moonlight like the skin of a giant reptile spread across the ground.
Irvin, akin to a boxer preparing for a fight, shook his body, patted his cheeks and made a series of quick punches in the air before releasing his breath with a sharp hiss. He then took a deep breath, adjusted his flat cap, and turned to Thaler.
‘I’m fine, mate.’ Irvin smiled. ‘Their tricks won’t scare me. I’m a copper, and I want to know more about this freaky box — what it is and where it came from.’
‘Are you sure?’
The inspector nodded.
‘All right then,’ Thaler began, and they resumed walking. ‘Nobody knows how old it is. Some say it’s as old as the universe, and others claim it’s newly made. Nobody knows precisely by whom and for what it was created. But in our Order, we believe—’
‘Your order?’ Irvin glanced at Thaler.
They stopped again, and Thaler pondered the question.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I haven’t told you much about it. All the flashy tricks you’ve seen are just scratches on the surface. My full-time job is hunting demons and sending them back to Hell. And I’m not alone in this venture; I’m a member of the Supreme Order — not a well-known organisation, but quite a powerful one.’
‘Like the Masons?’
‘Not exactly,’ Thaler responded curtly.
‘I see you’re not gonna tell me much about your private club,’ said Irvin. Thaler seemed to be holding his breath. Irvin got the message quickly. ‘Let’s go back to the box then.’
‘So,’ Thaler resumed his narrative, ‘in our Order, we believe that the box was made with wood from the very same tree under which the serpent made his infamous offer to Eve.’ Irvin grunted interestedly. ‘We also believe that it was much more than a tree,’ Thaler continued. ‘Its canopy reached up into the higher spheres of heaven, and its roots grew deep down into the underworld. It was the true centre of the universe and a source of absolute knowledge and power.’
They resumed walking.
‘Originally,’ Thaler went on, ‘the box was composed of two parts: the lid, which was connected to heaven, and the body — the box itself — which was connected to the underworld. That box had incredible qualities. For example, a man placed inside it could recover from an incurable illness or see into the distant future. People of all kinds, from saints to quacks, used the box to their own advantage in ancient times.’
‘What do you mean “in ancient times”? Has something changed?’ asked Irvin.
‘Yes. Substantially,’ Thaler confirmed. ‘There was a tacit agreement between the Supreme Order and the demons to stay away from the box. But the demons broke that agreement. How couldn’t they? About seven hundred years ago, they seized the box and separated it from the lid. Since then, the box has served only their evil purposes.’
‘Where is the lid now?’
‘Nobody knows,’ replied Thaler. ‘Some people have spent their whole lives searching for it, but in vain. Either the demons destroyed it, or they’ve kept it in a secret place. They won’t tell us anyway.’
‘But there was a cover on that box in the house, wasn’t there?’ asked Irvin.
‘Right,’ confirmed Thaler. ‘But that cover is just a substitute. The demons made it from ordinary wood. It looks shabby, like the box itself, but it has no more power than a broken Frisbee. But even in such a mutilated form, the box is a very dangerous thing in their hands. With its help, they’ll be able to bring more and more infernal creatures into this world. Their power is growing,’ Thaler explained gravely. ‘And we don’t have enough men to withstand it.’
They walked through a narrow passage carved into old masonry before entering another street.
‘If it’s so dangerous, why don’t you destroy it?’ asked Irvin.
‘A very good suggestion,’ said Thaler. ‘That’s exactly what I’m trying to do — as you can see, quite unsuccessfully. Today, I had my hands on it. I had a fireplace at hand and a good friend with a box of matches in his pocket. But I failed.’ His voice trembled.
‘Don’t worry, lad. You’ll get another try.’ Irvin patted Thaler on the shoulder. ‘You’ve got me, and I’ll help you. You’ll make things right and get a promotion!’
‘Thank you, Irvin.’ Thaler smiled. ‘A promotion is always a good thing for a lone maverick like me. But, unfortunately, the box is indestructible.’
‘Ah!’ exclaimed Irvin. ‘You hadn’t told me that! Then what’s the use in chasing after it?’
‘We can’t destroy the box permanently, but we can destroy it in its current location and cause it to go missing for a while. You could throw the box in a stove, and it would burn like any other piece of wood. But, after a while, it would return absolutely intact. The irony is that nobody can know where it will reappear. It could be any place on the globe — your grandfather’s shed, a mine in Siberia, or the Amazon jungle. Last time it went missing for about three hundred years — a good job done by one man! But now that the demons have it, we are in a pretty bad position.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll find it,’ said Irvin. They stopped again. ‘And good will triumph over evil forever!’ he proclaimed.
‘No, it won’t,’ Thaler said, drawing a puzzled look from his friend. ‘In the eternal battle between good and evil, there are no winners — only casualties.’
They left the dark back streets behind. The next stretch was completely different — brightly lit and full of life. They stood at the fringes of the nightlife quarter.
© 1995–2025 Alexander Daretsky. All rights reserved.